White Trash Moment in Target

So! Luke has been cutting teeth-you all know that by now. He has two on the bottom and I think the next one will be on the top. I've learned that when a child is teething, they can have a low grade fever, snotty nose, and/or diarrhea. Luke has only had one of the three so far-take wild guess which one...that's right! The nasty, smelly diarrhea!
And we had quite an experience at Target last night. I was in the store to buy a shower gift for a friend at school and then checking out the clearance clothes for Luke. He was fartin' it up at church and he always grunts so I the combo didn't make me think twice.
Luke was sitting in the cart, looking cute in his polo and jean shorts, grunting and farting like normal. I was looking at a shirt when I heard more noise so I turned to talk to him when I noticed a green goo around his leg. Seriously! He was sitting in his nastiness and didn't cry, whine or fuss.
I, of course, wanted to flip out but had to remain calm and not embarrass myself or my child so I rushed through the store and ran into the bathroom. Lucky for me, no one was around since it was 9:15. I was able to get Luke on the changing table, undressed, and wiped up the nastiness from his legs, rear and back. See, I forgot to mention that it also went up his back!
Eventually, I got it cleaned off everything (the child, myself, the changing pad, changing table, floor and cart) so we ran to the check out , no clothes-just a diaper, and went home. You see, this was one of those nights where I thought I had his diaper bag packed but I forgot a bib and extra change of clothes. Great timing on my part!
He fell asleep in the car but I REALLY wanted to give him a bath so when I placed him in his crib, it wasn't as nice as normal. He woke up immediately so I bathed him and got him back to sleep. Ahh! As soon as it was over, I was ready for bed too.
I'll be ready to laugh about this in a few weeks but for now-it's just plain gross!